Why do we eat?
We know it’s not just about hunger.
It is hopeful that we can now receive more positive ideas around body image, and weight loss. It is good that women, in particular, are refuting the very many messages they are bombarded with everyday about how they are supposed to look. There is more encouragement towards acceptance of ‘who we are’, whatever size or shape we might me.
Self-acceptance is challenging
This is all very helpful and positive. But self- acceptance is good in theory but sometimes more difficult to achieve in practice. Even if we would like to be happy about how our body is, difficult feelings – negative feelings sometimes born from a kind of persistent self-criticism – can still impinge on our day-to-day mood.
We also may want, if not to change the way we look, have at least more of a sense of control over our impulses. We may want to have more control over our appetite, At a deeper level we may like to feel that energetically we can be more self-regulated and the needs and feelings that arise in our bodies can be felt and responded to in normal and healthy ways.
Eating more than we need
Why do we eat and sometimes find it difficult to eat when we don’t need to? Do we eat because we’re hungry, or for other reasons: boredom, loneliness for instance? Or – and this often isn’t conscious – does food keep at bay other more challenging feelings such as shame and even anger? Comfort eating can help to keep difficult feelings suppressed.
Having a bigger body may also feel protective for many people. It can provide a buffer from a sense that our feelings, indeed ourselves, are being invaded. Conversely, losing weight can lead to feelings of deep vulnerability that are just too difficult to handle.
This is a complex issue
I would argue that body image and food are quite complex issues. The mechanisms that prevent healthy intake of food can be set very early in life. I would encourage anyone that is struggling with difficult feelings, not to blame themselves. Resetting our self-regulating mechanisms may lie outside our conscious control and therefore be challenging. It is not our fault (even if it is our responsibility).
So I offer these thoughts just to open the window on a challenging issue for many of us. I hope they may land and with some, and also bring compassion for us all when we think about and sense ourselves in our bodies.